


a derranged muppet

by honhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonnnnnnnnnn



Series: hetalia on crack [5]
Category: Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonnnnnnnnnn/pseuds/honhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonnnnnnnnnn
Summary: can you guess?





	a derranged muppet

**Author's Note:**

> from a story generator

Peter Kirkland looked at the gay teapot in his hands and felt anxious.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his old fashioned surroundings. He had always hated a deserted bush with its brave, bitter shrubs. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel anxious.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ivan Braginsky. Ivan was a deranged muppet with short eyelashes and feathery warts.

Peter gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a spiteful, kind, melon soda drinker with scrawny eyelashes and fragile warts. His friends saw him as a poor, putrid penguin. Once, he had even brought a yummy baby eggplant back from the brink of death.

But not even a spiteful person who had once brought a yummy baby eggplant back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Ivan had in store today.

The grey teased like bouncing maggots, making Peter ecstatic.

As Peter stepped outside and Ivan came closer, he could see the selfish glint in his eye.  
Ivan glared with all the wrath of 4802 peculiar talented toads. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want a pencil."  
Peter looked back, even more ecstatic and still fingering the gay teapot. "Ivan, I ate your puppy," he replied.  
They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two fried, friendly flamingos sining at a very sinister engagement party, which had flute music playing in the background and two generous uncles dating to the beat.  
Peter studied Ivan's short eyelashes and feathery warts. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Peter in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't hate you Ivan."  
Ivan looked barmy, his emotions raw like a purring, pongy pizza.  
Peter could actually hear Ivan's emotions shatter into 5225 pieces. Then the deranged muppet hurried away into the distance.  
Not even a drink of melon soda would calm Peter's nerves tonight.  
THE END


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